Creating is hard. You don’t realize how much energy it takes until it’s suddenly gone. Falling out of love with art is a traumatizing process, one that I’ve grieved for years. During a global pandemic, it only exasperated. Creating can become a daunting activity when the future looks so uncertain. It isn’t as clear cut as it used to be, and without that control I felt lost. Art became a chore, a demand instead of a reason to breathe.
The Eyes Closed series was a way to create without the pressure of a blank canvas, coupled with an overactive mind. Closing my eyes, and not worrying about anatomy, composition, or color, I let my pencil and hand do the work without pressure, without a plan or guidelines. They can come from stress, happiness, or a state of bliss, doesn’t matter. It is art meditation, where I finally let go of tension in the creative process.
I only have a few limitations and rules set to keep myself in check:
I do not peak at my progress, even when changing materials
Every piece I make will contain 10 drawings from the sketching process
No altering of the images before or after the sketching process
No limitations to my choice of music to play, the time it takes, or materials
The background, as well as the arrangement of the pieces, for a finished work is the only part where I have control
If I do not like the finished product, then that’s just how it’s going to be, no if’s, and’s, or but’s.
